A Love that changes… Everything

A friend asked me last night if I was doing ok, was I feeling better. My response, “No, I’m not ok, I won’t be ok until he comes home.”

Why on earth do I allow the actions of this man affect my entire life this way? I could lose my job because I’ve not been there since I found him gone, I could be out of a place to live without a job to pay rent. I could lose a lot of things, but nothing means anything to me without him. Why? I’ll tell you why, it’s love. It the right kind of love, the love that is different, the love that changes… Everything.

I think perhaps he thought that I didn’t love him. I can see how he’d think that. I’m hard to read and I express myself differently. I know that I can be confusing, I just wish he’d have talked to me about it, given me the chance to clear up any misunderstandings.

I also think that maybe he didn’t think he was important to me. We all have flaws and we all fail to see our own sometimes. We even fail at some of the things that we think we are great at. I’m great at communicating, I’ll always be honest and tell someone what’s bothering me. No I don’t. I try to, but many times I fail at it. Many times I get so upset that I lose my good intentions and I withdraw. I don’t mean to, it’s a flaw, one that I try desperately to correct. Still, I fail.