Depression & Karma

Depression. Yes, it’s depression along with an unhealthy dose of fear. I haven’t changed clothes in three days, haven’t showered, I’ve barely eaten. I’ve stayed by my phone, I’ve jumped up every time I heard a sound that sounded anything remotely like his wheels on the driveway. I can’t believe how sad, weak, and pathetic I sound. Waiting for a man that probably hasn’t had a second thought about leaving.

Meanwhile, I lay here piled up in bed praying that the next sound I hear is his key in the lock or his footsteps in the hallway. The world is cruel and it takes the ones that mean the most to us. Perhaps this is a punishment for something in my past, karma waving her middle finger my way. Perhaps it will turn out OK, or perhaps it won’t. Life currently means nothing and that won’t change until he walks through that door. Because to me, he IS life. Mine.