Love & Falling Into It

I can tell you that I have been ‘in love’ twice in my life, and I have ‘truly loved’ many times. I seem to be thinking about love a lot lately, I’m not sure why. I think I know why, but I’m not sure. I have also had a person on my mind, someone I truly loved and I think I probably do still love despite everything.

So what’s difference between being ‘In Love’ and ‘Loving Someone’? Nothing and everything at the same time. Love is love, there’s no denying that. To truly love someone, we love them with all of our hearts, but to be ‘in love’, that’s a deeper, selfless and unconditional love. The love that you would give your own life for. However, there’s a giant gray area that overlaps, romantic and familial love. I’m speaking of romantic love, so let’s leave the other alone.

In my life, I’ve truly been in love with only two people. A third person, this person that’s been on my mind, I wasn’t given the chance to know if the love would turn into being ‘in love’. I think about that from time to time and of course I’ve thought about it often lately. It’s not one of those “what if…” things, it’s a sadness that we never had the chance to know if it would happen. I think it would have.

I think the sadness of knowing that it could have been, will always stay with me, it has so far.

Love is a funny thing, an uncomfortable force that comes out of nowhere, it runs from us, it sneaks up on us when we least expect it, it holds us tight and it pushes us away. Love seems cruel in that way, but as I think about it, we do the same thing to love.