I just revealed my biggest secret and insecurities!

I think maybe I could love this one. The search for “that person”, that person that is our person, it’s one of the most complicated tasks we set out to complete. What if we don’t complete this task, never finding that person we call home? I don’t know, I’m trying not to think about that right now.

Love, relationships, insecurities, and secrets. We all know what secrets and insecurities can do to love and relationships, but we still resist coming clean with those.

So I’m talking to this guy and he asks where I see myself in a year. Yeah, yeah, typically get to know someone question. I was ill prepared, but I did manage to bring up my writing. Yes, of course, I hope I’m more successful with my writing career in a years time. Oops, now he’s going to ask what I write!!

I waited for it, for the, “Oh, what do you write?”

And there it was, exactly as expected.

“well, I write poetry, and… “ a pause, a hesitation and I knew he was analyzing my hesitation. Then, to my surprise and horror, out came the words that I knew would send him back peddling from this conversation and from me.

“I write about depression, depression awareness, anxiety, and that sort of thing.”

I just revealed my biggest secret and insecurities!

A fraction of a moment of silence and he asks if I suffer from depression. I’m sitting there thinking, Omg, this is not good! Definitely not something that I wanted to discuss or reveal so soon. I began to panic and worry. I made a mistake, I should have just said something like, I write about behavioral and life topics.

I answer his questions and he says “Thank you.”

Wait ,what ?

He’s ok with it. I won’t go into the conversation, but he expressed gratitude for my honesty and well, everyone has something they struggle with and I at least acknowledge it’s there and I do what I do here on medium.

Maybe, I can see something, perhaps I could love this one. That possibility however, is yet to be determined.

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