So what’s the point really? …searching for a partner and all that.

Some days, today, I just don’t even want to think about romantic relationships. I want them to be put off until some other time. Too much work, too hard on my heart, exhausting. I wonder why I’m doing this. Why do I think I even want to share my life with another person?

There are many wonderful men out there, some not so wonderful ones too. I’m just tired of looking I guess. This one is nice, but his weird is a little too weird for even me. Really, just a different kind of weird I suppose. That one, he’s adorable, but perhaps too adorable. I want a man, not a boy, right? Then there’s this other one, he’s a bit reserved, not really sure what his boldness is, if he has boldness. I’d probably be too strong willed for him, he’d probably be annoyed by it.

So what’s the point really? A search for a partner, some magical connection between the two of us that can survive life, distance, moodiness and pms and man pms and all the crazy ups and downs of life and living. I don’t know, there are days that I really do think it’s pointless to spend the time searching for something I’m not even sure exists, and if it does exist, do I really want it?

Perhaps having a partner isn’t really high enough on my priority list to be worth the time I’ve been putting into it. Perhaps.