Remember my Words

He didn’t have to be nice to me. He could have blew me off. He could have been a dick, but he was nice.

I told a man that I couldn’t see him anymore. Let’s call him Colin. So here’s the thing, I felt that it was a bad idea because of something I found out about the man I loved before. The man that I thought had loved me. Turns out he didn’t. Colin knows a little about what this other man did to me, and he may or may not have called him something less than desireable. Honestly, it made me feel good that he was taking up for me.

I remember the day I found out. Those mentally exhausting hours that followed, I found myself thinking that it would be really nice to cuddle with Colin. This guy Colin, he’s an expert cuddler, HA! Seriously though, I needed comfort, and he was the person I thought about first. I want to say that I don’t know really what drew me to Colin, but I do know. He’s quite the handsome man, and very much my type. Those decadent brown eyes I have written about, the ones so dark that the black in his eyes is almost impossible to see, yes, those. Those brown eyes are Colin.

Colin also reminded me of the man I loved before. That’s another reason I felt I needed to step away from him. Every time I looked at him, I was reminded of what this other man had done to me.

When I told Colin this, he was simply nice. “As you wish, but remember this.”

He reminded me of the reasons he and I first began getting to know each other. Why did we? What were my reasons? I had exhausted all other avenues and felt a change of routine would be good for me. I searched for the big catch in a completely different pond.

He reminded me of the quality of man, not the pond, was behind what had happened to me. He was a piece of shit and we both knew it without him having to remind me of the little detail. He also warned me, “Don’t let him stay in your head, if you do, he wins.” He is right, about all of it, but it’s tough to forget.

I’m not sure if his reasons behind his caring response was to convince me not to stop seeing him or if he was genuinely being nice. Either way, it makes me want to go to his apartment, apologize, and cuddle during another movie.

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