This feels like Torture

I feel tortured. This love feels like pure torture. I don’t want to beg you to love me. It kills me to know that I silently beg you to need me. When does one know it is the end, that it is time to stop trying? I don’t want to stop trying, I want to make us work. I want you to love me.

My love is not enough for you, not enough to hold you. My gentleness isn’t enough to hold you. You don’t need me and God knows I have prayed that you need me, want me. You touch me and you hold me and in your arms, you make me feel like you need me, like you love me.

Your words say something different. The moment you leave my side, you forget how it felt, you forget about me. You no longer need me. I’ve been in arms that pretended to love, before. This is different or maybe I love you so much that I am blind.

You pull me in with promises of love and you push me away with regret. You don’t want to hurt me but you no longer need my love, me. Your heart is locking me out and your hands are pushing me away.

My heart aches and my eyes weep, I am in love with you but you don’t need me.