When I Lose My Marbles

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When I Lose My Marbles
by: Minna Von Walden

As a writer of fiction and a thinker of deep thoughts and possibilities, I can’t help but wonder of my experiences as I age and begin to lose my marbles.

Will I retain reality or fall into my favorite book to visit the characters I so carefully created. Perhaps I will create new characters and, sadly, be unable to pen the story as I live it alongside them.

The mind of a writer is a unique, mysterious place where lives are lived, created, and destroyed, sometimes never known to anyone else. Stories brought into existence and choreographed to perfection, without the smallest of effort seen by the world around them. Silent lives, invisible people, known only in the mind or in words of a book.

For some of us, as we age, we lose touch with reality. The same mind that created our works of fiction and our deepest thoughts can take us down a road we do not understand or even have the power to recognize as false. A road where we are unable to discern between what we create and what is the reality our loved ones live in. The reality we live in.

As I weigh the possibilities of whether I will lose my marbles or not, I think of what the experiences of my loved ones will be. Will I see them as the people I spent my life with in my true reality or will I see them as the people I created and spent my life writing about in their reality. I hope it will be the former. I hope I am fortunate enough to retain my true reality and not one created for a story.

If however, I fall into a book, I can only pray that those who love and care for me can smile and try to guess which book I’m in. Perhaps I will be flying with a raven or talking to unicorns. Whatever the case, I hope they feel only joy, not sadness, if my marbles fall into a story I created or one I create day to day.